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100 Days of Writing 100 // Determination. She’s the real muse.

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100 // Determination. She’s the real muse who challenges you to consistency. Eventually, she turns you into a beast (and according to no. 079, beasts get things done, remember?) Determination finds a candle to light the way when you’re uncertain. She cheers you on, but won’t take your shit when you try to procrastinate. Determination gets you out of bed. And she forces you to embrace mistakes because done is better than perfect, and done equals discipline (no. 001). Determination is a patient form of alchemy to transform you into a success when you were completely certain you’d remain a failure. Determination. Thank her.
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The Making is the Thing to Meet Your Muse

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Making to Meet Your Muse // ARMOURELLE.COM

 

“I been feelin’ kinda strange lately.
I don’t know what’s going on, baby.
Ever since I came back from outta town,
something’s telling me some bullshit is going down…”
        // Cassandra Lucas + Charisse Rose as Changing Faces

 

“Feeling kinda strange lately” has been real for me, and this relationship I have with creativity. Just when things are coasting and we’re on the up and up, one of us starts a fight.

 

It usually ends up with me feeling empty and unlike myself. Which makes me frustrated. Which makes me anxious. Which makes me hide under the covers*. Which makes me feel worthless. Which then makes me say aloud to no one, “WHO EVEN CARES?”

 

You’ve felt this too.

 

We try to be so stealth ninja strategic about our next move that we over think it. We feel like frauds when we don’t have any ideas. We consume so much we mute our own thoughts. We sit at the desk, go to the studio or visit a coffee shop to meet the muse and his shady behind doesn’t even bother show up.

 

Frustrating, right?

 

Some days the Muse feels like he’s got better things to do and more successful people to visit. But that shouldn’t stop us from creating. (Yes, there are times when we need separation to recharge. There are also times when we stall because we let our creative muscles get wimpy. I’m talking about wimpy-ness.)

 

Even when it’s painful, we SHOULD create–just in an adjacent medium. If you’re a writer like me, play with paint**. If you’re a painter, play with clay. If you’re a sculptor, play with sound. So on and so forth.

 

You’ll be surprised at how the Muse rewards you when you relax and enjoy making for the sake of making.

 

*Yes, ‘discouraged napping’ is a very real thing.
**Want proof? See the photo above. It’s ugly, but it sho’ll did help.

 

Feel the Fear. But Do the Work You Need to Do Anyway.

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Do the work that's important. Not busy work! // ARMOURELLE.COM

I am afraid.

I am afraid to write.

I am afraid to write what I should write, so I write other works instead.

I am afraid to do my real work.

I am afraid that if I write my real work, you won’t like it.

I am afraid that if I write my real work, it will end up hidden in a folder on my hard drive, untouched. Or if I get the guts to print it, the manuscript will get layered under a stack of notebooks filled with words that don’t matter as much as the ones I let get buried.

Since I am afraid, I keep myself busy with other things: Writing proposals. Writing ‘fun’ articles. Writing product descriptions. Writing press releases. Writing email pitches. Writing everything else besides what I should write.

I’m doing everyone else’s work but not my own.

So does this make me a fraud?

If I am all about choosing your own adventure and I refuse to choose my own, am I a false prophet?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Over the last month, I kept getting this message: DO THE WORK. I heard it in conversation. In a panel discussion. In a Periscope broadcast. In a Twitter chat.

I argued with myself and with God that I didn’t know what “my work” is or should be. “What is THE WORK!?” I asked (of course as I said this, I tilted my head to the sky for maximum display of agony).

Friday, I had a conversation about “the work” with my new friend. She explained so clearly what our work is. She even ended her definition with, “and that is the work we have to do.”

Then I saw a post on Instagram that, again, clearly defined “the work.” Another message. I listened to a podcast that just so happened to define “the work” while describing other tasks.

I know a few things–not a lot–but what I DO know is that I received the message. I need to get started before I miss the window of opportunity. I shouldn’t say window, because I’m not sure if it’s a window or a doggie door. Either way, I need to do the work so I can shimmy through it when I notice it’s cracked open.

Maybe the window crack is now, and it’s just a sliver of an opening, but enough to get my fingers underneath the sill.

Maybe not.

Again, I know a few things–not a lot–but what I DO know is that I need to get to WORK.

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